Just Something Different!

Do read till the end!

B: “Just once more, come ‘on!”

A: “I can’t give you any more of it, I’m sorry and I’m tired.”

B: “Please just once more, I promise it will be so much better than the last time and the mess we made.”

A: “I don’t know, I honestly don’t, I have tried over and over again to do it, but each time I fail to look past all those times we tried. I thought they were good but it never does appease you, and I guess I can’t handle it anymore.”

B: “I know. Those times were good, but I still don’t know where we went wrong. They just didn’t feel right, and I tried each time to make believe that this could be it and each time, it felt strange as if something is missing. I know I am asking a lot from you. You have always been supportive of me and tried to make it work, but honestly, I believe we can do so much better if you only give it one last chance.”

A: “Keep talking.”

B: “You know just how much I have given into this and so have you. We both invested so much into it, our time, our mind, and, our soul. I don’t think for one second that this is all a waste and that we can’t go beyond this because I can see it that you want it as much as I do. And you don’t want to admit to yourself, but you want it to happen just as much as I do. You are tired like you rightfully should be, everything has turned out to be so exhausting that you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t tired, and I respect that.”

A: “You know what the problem was, every time, every single time everything I did was not appreciated. And every time you wanted more. You wanted it to be better and I felt as if I could never live up to what you want from me, and trust me that is such a messed up thought to have. I doubted my abilities and I doubted myself for so long that I felt almost depressed. I felt as if I could never amount to as much. All of it meant so much to me, it still does somewhere within me, but I don’t know if I want to do it again.”

B: “But you know how close we are now. You can’t back off now, everything we built will go wasted. I can’t see that happening. All I ask is just one chance. And if it doesn’t work out, I will never bother you again. Just let me make you trust me.”

A: “Fine. But how do I know that the same won’t happen again? For all I know, you do this every time, and this could just be one of those times.”

B: “I know, and I expected this, to be honest. But I have to tell you something when you went away the other day, and I was pondering of what to make of it, I realized the importance of what you did, and you. I realized how important it is to let someone be what they want to be, even if you think you know what can be done to better them. Not because you don’t mean good for them, but because, everyone has to fight their own battles, and you can’t fight theirs. The most you can do is hope that they let you support them, and that is what I learned. And this is why, I’m here, asking for a chance to make you see, just how it all is.”

A: “silent pondering”

B: “I hope you give it a chance. Tomorrow, 11 AM, I’ll wait for you there. And I hope you come, take care.”

A: “I am not making any promises, I’ll see if I can.”

B: “Works for me. Thank you!”

 

Next day, 10:55 AM

B: “You reached before I did? Wow!”

A: “Well, one should always be on time for the shoot! Guess I didn’t want to keep the director waiting.”

B: “You really are something, aren’t you?”

A: “Maybe!”

B: “Come ‘on then, let’s start shooting, LIGHTS, CAMERA, and ACTION!”

Battlefield And Home

In a battlefield, a lamb has no place, for it’s a place, where even trained souls have lost constraints. And that is why for the lamb to survive, it needs to adapt and for that the hunted needs to become the hunter, just to save itself, and to come back home safely.

The same is with humans. With a gentle heart and a modest appeal, when we go around in this cut throat world, with time, we tend to feel the need to adapt too, for that is how we survive.  We learn through our experiences, and those same experiences harden us and prepare us for the onslaught of future. Some onslaughts we survive through past experience, some through further adaptation, and then, there are some that downright pull us down.

In the battlefield, there are no children/fathers/mothers, but only warriors. Warriors with thoughts aligned to prepare one for a fight that can break out any second, to save oneself, and to emerge victorious. For the need to survive, we push away parts of ourselves, ones that make us feel more human, and rather, we make do with abilities that push our survival. But all wars come with a resting period, the time we need to replenish our ammo, to check our armor, to loosen up and to have fun because we only can continue to fight if we are well rested and prepared!

With each onslaught, we lose a bit of what holds us to our human side, we become hardened, and numb, to the thoughts, and to the pain, because battles can be a mean business. In our focus on survival, our heightened defensive responses take a toll on our mind. Which is why it is said that the person who went to the battlefield is not the same person who returns!

But let’s put it in a different perspective here, apart from the battlefield, this is what our daily life is based upon. We all have our different set of problems and issues that transform us, from the naïve person we begin as, into a hardened person that we adapt to. We all have a different mind frame than the person next to us, and all of us have a battle of our own, a battle we must fight, within ourselves, and around us. And in those moments, we wall ourselves, in order to protect us from things and scenarios that we are a part of.

And just like a veteran comes back home changed, so do we, change, for, at the end, it is all about the survival of fittest. But with time we forget or fail to acknowledge who we are within. We just go on along with the mask of toughness and adaptability. However, just like the battle is no place for lambs, similarly, home is no place for warriors and battle. And due to our heightened sense to adapt, we somehow refuse to acknowledge that resting place. We go on, tensed and not trusting people who truly mean good for us. We are unable to let them stay, and no matter what, we refuse to build bridges where the walls are, for how else, would a person get through.

This is why, no matter what we do, neither do we find home, nor do we rest. We just end up being wary of everything around us, and in our quest to find peace and happiness, we are the one who pass it up as it appears, for the chance seems like a risk, and our involuntary stance seems to avoid it at all costs. We are so clenched up inside that we fail to see the things that do matter, one way or the other.

But at the end of it, no matter how much adaptation is important, what else is important is to lower down your battle stance, when there is no need be, for survival is only fruitful when it comes with lasting happiness and peace!

Poem #4

The kuch alfaaz aise, jo baya na ho sakte the lafzo se,
Keh gyi aakhein, vo alfaaz me chuppi nazdikiyan,
Bhauchake se hum the, na keh sakte the kuch,
Bolne ki, ki koshish, toh jubaan ladkhada gyi,
Chehra hi kya, ye zindagi bhi murjha gyi,
Jaane ka tha jikar hua, aur bhoola na sake hum,
Baaton me kho gye aise, ki palke tak jhapka na sake hum,
Kiya tumne vaada, bhoolne na doge, saath ik dusre ki zindagi ka,
Par tha kuch adhoora, kuch pehle se jyada,
Lafz to nikle hi nahi, keh na sake hum, seh na sake hum,
Tha saath ye jaruri, kiya tha khud se ye vaada,
Na khona chahenge tumhe, na aaj, na kal,
Par tum the majboor, aur hum bhi,
Tum the majboor, vakt aur duniya ki maar ke,
Hum the majboor, apni yaari ki chaah ke,
Na chahte the khona, na tum na hum,
Kiya hai vaada, na choddne ka saath,
Pakdenge sada ek duje ka haath,
Jaane na denge, na tum hum ko, na hum tum ko,
Par jaana hai jaruri, aur vakt ki hai maar,
Dooriyan hoti hai jaruri, nahi lagta aisa ab kitne arso ke baad,
Tumsa koi na aur hai, na hopaega,
Tumse milkar kya ye dil kisi aur ka hopaega,
Socha na tha hoga aisa,
Ki hokar saath bhi hojaenge door,
Ek tum the majboor, ek hum the majboor!

Poem #3

Kaagaz ke inn panno pe, likhe kuch lamhein naye purane,

Shyaahi se rang diye panne, aur likh diye bol,

Zindagi ek junoon hai, aur jeena hamara jaruri,

Bin ruke chalte rahe, ye mushkil hai, par jaruri,

Uchhaiyan chuune ki chaah me, gir na jaaye hum,

Chaand taaro ko manzil bnane chale, kahin gir na jaaye hum;

Girne me kya maza hai, maza toh hai khade hokar fir se jeene me,

Toh karlo jo karsakte ho, kyunki khada hona jaruri hai,

Girne se ruk gye to kya hua, khade hokar chalna jaruri hai,

Bas yehi soch hai jaruri, acchhe se jeene ke liye,

Kyunki manzil ek nahi hai, paane ke liye,

Isiliye khade hokar chalna hai jaruri, aur ruko mat tum,

Chalenge hum usi raah pe, jo dil pe dastak dega,

Manzil door bhi huyi to kya hua, jaana padega!

Jeetenge hum kaamyaabi ki ladayi, aur banenge kaamyaab,

Kiya tha jo tha vaada, kaagaz ke panno pe ki banenge hum kuch khaas!

Poem #2

Thi manzil anek, The raaste anek,

Chalne wala ek par khayal the anek,

Raaston ki chaah me hum bhaagte the dilfek,

Aayi baadha saamne aur badh na sake the,

Bolna chahte the aur bol na sake the,

Duniya samajh na paayi aur na bol sake hum,

Khud ko paana chaaha par tumko bhool na sake hum,

Khudgarzi se chahte toh shayad ho paata kuch,

Par tumhare chehre ki muskurahat dekh ke bol na sake kuch,

Na bhool paaye tumko, na paaya manzil ko,

Raasto me bhatke reh gye, aur gava gye iss khubsurat zindagi ko